I Only Say This Because I Love You: Talking to Your Parents, Partner, Sibs, and Kids When You’re All Adults-Fast Shipping

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Why does talk in families so often go in circles, leaving us tied up in knots? Inthis illuminating book, Deborah Tannen, the linguist and and bestselling author ofYou Just Don’t Understand and many other books, reveals why talking to family membersis so often painful and problematic even when we’re all adults.

Searching for signsof acceptance and belonging, we find signs of disapproval and rejection. Why do theseeds of family love so often yield a harvest of criticism and judgment? In I OnlySay This Because I Love You, Tannen shows how important it is, in family talk, tolearn to separate word meanings, or messages, from heart meanings, or metamessages —unstated but powerful meanings that come from the history of our relationshipsand the way things are said.

Presenting real conversations from people’s lives, Tannenreveals what is actually going on in family talk, including how family conversationsmust balance the longing for connection with the desire for control, as we struggleto be close without giving up our freedom.

This eye-opening book explains why grownwomen so often feel criticized by their mothers; and why mothers feel they can’topen their mouths around their grown daughters; why growing up male or female, oras an older or younger sibling, results in different experiences of family that persistthroughout our lives; and much, much more. By helping us to understand and redefinefamily talk, Tannen provides the tools to improve relationships with family membersof every age.